lOVE HAS GONE FROM A VULUPTUOS VIXEN TO A HORRENDOUS, PAINFUL SPECTOR, TO SOMETHING INBETWEEN.  tHE DREAM OF EQUALITY AND LOVE AND PEACE.  oF SHARED GIFTS AND BLESSINGS.  lOVE NEVER LEFT...IT JUST HID FOR A WHILE LIKE THAT MISMATCHED SOCK DOWN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HALLWAY CLOSET OR THE LOVE FROM A MOTHER WHO NEVER FELT.  Her hope was within me daily as I rooted, poked, and prodded. like a truffle hunter out on the chew.  Love, I have felt it with many, sometimes real, sometimes just a figment of a dream, soemtimes their hope and my failing.  I have seen hope for it in so many faces those I remember some I forget but never the feeling.  It has inspired me to cross cities, sit in the dark, and strive towards the light.  It's communication and wisdom and peace.  It's the feeling of one wrapped in another wrapped in another.  The  essence of lifes existence whether powerful or powerless, fighting or at peace, honest or untrue, caring or ere fakery.  In some ways it has left me high and dry and in others high and happy.  They say lie now, be happy in twenty years, be honest now be mean in forty.  I think it comes form the pain of be assailed at your core, your wisdom be mitigated into fodder.  I will try though it will be tough.  I was honest and I tried and while it worked and love was born there is little more I could want though much more I could acheive.  The way love wraps around me I fell encased in glassine as if protected from the storming wind outside.  It slices cuts raggedly rips to shreds yet I face it with strength and calm, the stregth coming from th heart the calm comeing form the soul.  And in it there is hope andf expectatioon of beginings anewed through the eyes of the lord.  Some claim sainthood but speak sacrilege.  Others  fight for good and still others are lost droening under the waves hoping for a breath yet inhaling chokedness.  My dessire to save them is great, like that of a father son dedication.  And all the unkown.  Why live?  Because there is love and I have seen it.  Death is just fear and unwrapping myself from it I feel love.   It is the answer after all.   Depsite fakery and foolishness love is the answer.   Ou5tside the windhowls  with the devils saber yet the Lords love calms me.  Like patience.  Like kin.  Like bliss.  The devil is a dervish yet he will never over come me.  He will quiet and calm as waves break on rocks on a beach.  The Lords power is nt in vengeance, it is in love.  Some people hate, some hurt, others hav the devil in them.  I feel love.  Love that aesome power of faith within.  It is as if wrapped in an itchy blanketbecomes wrapped in love..  Love connects people because people need people.  It means to me that one must speak of love  Love where there is hate, hope where there is distrust,  peace where there is hatred, goodness where there is evil.