Entropy surrounds me yet from the deepeest sand oil rises.  Perceptual value aside it proves the force of will the world is instilled with.  Its like an ocean breaking on rocks yet wearing away the very rocks that seem to stop it.  Mixed up in the world and the lying faces and the faithless family that birthed me I feel confused yet from ruination and confusion a phoenix will rise, dust off it's wings, and soar until sun becomes star and star becomes sun and the length of the universe is born on it's boad wings.  The strength of the phoenix lies not in it's breadth nor the height of it's soaring but the dusting off of its wings and taking the first steps toward flight.  It's as if an ancient American Indian spirit has infected it and inspires those first steps.  What happens next is wonder as the universe unfolds itself like self propelled origami unfolding back to its original shape.  The world can do that.   Fold you up.  Yet your original shape can never be destroyed no matter usurpers or giants or even yourself.  Even in self destruction there is will..  In a way, water iis similar.  It moves wiwth eternity, it is truly unstoppable, it works despite light darkness peace or war stability or instability.  There is a sense of greatness there like taking your learning and reassessing it in a way that has never been seen with a fresheness the world has never beholden..  That is the goal and dream and experience that lightens the load that I bear.  When carrying this load there is stress and worry and pain yet with in it is a proving ground of the strength of the mind.  For some are fed while others are forced to fight to eat and desapite the struggle the meals satisfaction is validating.  It's like climbing a great mountain or building a great wall; they are done step by step and brick by brick yet once accomplished each step and brick becomes part of an aggregate that is the essence of man.  We all have our history, we all have our past yet from it, into it, and through it we are born.  Lack of faith is an ugly spector yet I beleive in my words as satan beleives in the search for souls and heaven beleives in taking my heart and the pope beleives his power is in that faith itse;lf.  In that there is beauty, though it is sometimes hartd to find; we have all experienced it be it in a piece of art or comely face or in a lilting sonnet and for those who haven't I assure you you will.  It's just around the corner be it the bend of a river or the jagged edges of a city waitibg for you to behold it's grandeur.  In it is a search for meaning amongst myth, truth amongst the faith, and hope for the faithless.  In a way I feel I can relate to that origami; fold me bend me flex me and I return to shape. Like that phoenix dusting myself off before taking flight to the worlds end.  Or maybe beyond into the distatn regions of the universal.  Like a heroin addict on a search for their drug, I am on a search for originality, creativity, freshness.   In it is elation; that feeling of being connected to a holy apparition speaking through me and giving me words to express with.  I am not a holy nbeing yet from it, the process, I feeel connected to soemthing real.  Appraising glances are only skin deep while judgement in it's harshness is merely a man looking in the mirror.  The mirror may reflet love or may reflect hate but when you turn it on me my love overwhelms.  Its like youth has never left, like connection to the divine neither human nor spectrel yet something in between.  When words move me I want the world to hear them feeling wamr and inspired by satiation of the ethereal.  There's nothing but the faintest description of truth in the eyes of the average.  Judgement, deprication, doubt.  Yet love is found in similar ways.  Comminication, acceptance, understanding.  In those we find the greatest joy.  For those of the hateful tribe look to put roadblocks in your  way, even fanily that ill wrought aggregation, yet I leap over them as Jack to his candle, neatly and spritelike.  In doing so I realize that nothing should come between you and your dream, not even another's  pride.  They say those who don't build you up are little, I think they get their greatest joy from the desicration of something holy or good.  It's as if in their self hatred they have found love for destruction.  Some even prey on the weak.  I find that humorous that somehow some kind of great power can be found through the detruction of simplicity.  I am a fisherman, specifically a flyfisherman and I find beauty on water.  There understanding peeks out and it's vision corrected like a fresh look at the universe.  This fresh universe is the result of inspiration and struggle in the minds of great men, men I hope to be like.  Their minds refreshed by knowledge grow on a single whisp of creativity which become sa torential mental storm.  I feel in support.  Greatness I search for...And I find it in the moments amongst the struggle.  Like a fish on the end of my line the fight is for life that eternal being that seeks without end and continues to speak.  Words cascade as a mirrormere of enthrallment  like first loves rapture or deaths memory which I am beyond.  A viscious animal or a subtle saint?  I feel in between is the answer.  One who knows his fight yet doesn't look to appease it.  Rather surging through it like adrenaline through a racehorses veins expecting freedom unbound.  Water Love; the mystery of forever returning to conquest with the ease of the click of a pen and words transpiring across a oage.  But one must be fed; the soul, the heart, the bodyy through vision love and food.  Spinning in a  circle until the knees conceive to buckle yet i conceive to remain standing.  Not all will remain faithful.  In fact, few will.  Even family will turn yet the darker light, the geater triumph over expectation, mystery, and adventure will be remembered.  Water is my muse, she chooses not to buckle when all else dissasociates.  Words compete for their expression speeding forth as a great rider.  We the connection bewteen beings working for a common cause of hope.  I choose to succeed.  Like water bears out its etrenal flow so to through out the world ease in pleasure is pronounced yet the physical pain is mere microns while the actual words bear witness.  Like psalms or shakespeare or any of the great creation inspiration is not delusion but rather finer thinking of what remains when energy flags.  The force of destiny and a little work equal muscle.  Some choose to doubt, I choose to create.  Like an algorythym of great complexity there is an answer and is refusal to remain dormant becomes grandeur and bliss.  I am not broken though that may be of the worrld.  I am of myself and that is love, the apparition of entanglement that completes the circle of life.  Longing at its begining grow to understanding then affection then love then life mellows to sweet cntent.  I choose to step outside of the circle painted around me helping the mind to grow with each glowing footstep.  The walk may be for forever so forever I walk with or without gods great accompanymment though my back is enver turned to him.  Friends determine who you are so I decide to choose between the real and creative and the broken and destructive.  I always choose the great like a well worn path of intent to a river of my calling.  Water wings and a prayer.  The hope for subtle destiny.  These vision of procreative success.  They strike me as true living like walking the fine line between life and death, like viewing death and choosing life  daring with each moment to be great as I can with the work of angels on my back.  Love is that passion that engages.  It renews with the start of a race.  The gun goes off then you are engaged in this race.  You may catch the gun and sprint immediately or stagger and slowly rise from the blocks.  They are both opportunities.  One is to prove your worth by surgeing and carving time in such a way as to halve it with each step.  The other is the opportuity to take advantage of preperation that made you ready to rise from the blocks and with the hope of preperations advantage win the race.  I'd rather win than lose and I'd rather be prepared than not but I'd be proud to be slow out of the blocks as well.  This gives you the opportunity to prove your metal by asserting against time to gain the advantage.  Eventually the race is won and I'd rather win than lose so I'll prepare but I will be just as powerful as I've won from the back as I would be if I won from the front.  And then there's the next race.  Some say there is no better feeling than receiving deserved trust.  I think proving the value of your trust by offering and commiting proves the validfity of someone else offering trust.  Trust after all isn't a commodity.  It can't be bought.  But it can be earned and it's returns are fathomless.